Yeah Kids It's Death Penalty Day

Where I live in Canada we have a bogged down and truly inefficient justice system, a fact that I am sure is reflected in other regions on the globe. The main reason why nothing every gets done is that the court system is bogged down with people fighting their seatbelt fines , or pleading insanity to that jaywalking charge. All these frivolous cases tie up the court resources and grinds the wheels of justice to a halt. I think I have a solution to our problem - Death Penalty Day. Allow me to explain;

Death Penalty Day would be a day where regardless of what case you are currently arguing about in court, be it the aforementioned jaywalking charge or 1st degree murder - (beaten to death with blunt instrument anyone?) the automatic sentence would be death. No trial , no witnesses, just read the case for the record, and ship the accused to the gallows. Do not pass go, do not collect cable tv and 3 square meals a day....

It would not take too many of these days for people to re consider fighting that speeding ticket and just paying the fine. Is $50 that important to you when you know you could possibly die by fighting it in court? Of course with the big backlog in cases right now we may need to have multiple "Death Penalty Days" to clear the log jam. Of course the actual date of the Death Penalty Day would be a closely guarded secret, if it wasn't a secret what would be the point?

For the bleeding hearts out there that think Death Penalty Day is too harsh - I offer an alternative - Public Sodomy Day.

The same principles apply in regards to it being a random day and it's sole purpose is to unclog the court system, the main difference is that instead of being put to death, you would be marched to the town square and publicly sodomized by a martial arts expert. The atmosphere would be like a medieval carnival - people would be selling their crafts , baked goods and pirated dvds. Families and children gaily stroll the grounds absorbing all the sights smells and sounds of another successful Public Sodomy Day

Which would be a bigger deterrent to you? My only concern with Public Sodomy Day is that it may breed a repeat criminal who in fact hopes that his/her case falls on Public Sodomy Day

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