The world of dating is fraught with many perils. I am happy to say that I have put the dating world behind me and moved into the "happily ever after world" if you believe the Hallmark marketing people. But even though I am not part of the dating scene I wanted to provide as a public service announcement some of the things you should not say during a date. Feel free to print out the list and use it as a reference guide during your next speed dating episode.
Things not to say during courtship:
1. "The Doctor says it's not contagious"
2. "This ankle bracelet itches"
3. "Is it ok that I brought my kids along? I could not find a sitter."
4. "I live at home with my mom"
5. "This crack is making me jittery"
6. "What's an HIV test?"
7. "Did you see me last week on Springer?"
8. "The judge said my ex had it coming to him, and deserved everything he got"
9. "Lorenna Bobbit - my hero"
10. "Did you fart?"
11. "I'm hung like a grape"
Got any more that need to be added to the list? The dating public need useful resources like these to help them find true love or at least get a quickie.
6 comments:
You left out:
Het we need to be back by 10:)) PM I promised Mom I would be in early.
I need to stop by my parole office, but it will only take a minute.
You'll have to drive because I lost my license with that 3rd DUI.
Dan - mothers can put a serious crimp into one's ability to date effectively - how inconsiderate of them...
Angie - Parole Officer - damn why didn't I think of that one :)
Parole Officer and a DUI definitely not what someone wants to hear on any date
One I've actually used on a girl I didn't particularly care for was, "Do you shave?" If she ask "where?" then you moved to third base automatically. If she says "NO!" then may as well take her home ...date's over.
Hahaha, here is one..." You know, some say Methadone doesn't work for them. But so, far so good with me." and/or "Using our Match.com Avatars, I took the liberty of photo-shopping what our our children will look like."
Eve
Don: - you my friend are a genius
Eve - lol at the methadone - excellent , an eager person already imaging future off spring scares the hell out of me and most like me ...tremble.....
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