In this age of gene manipulation and DNA testing wouldn't it be a great step forward for mankind when we can test for the "Bad Boss Gene". This is the gene that makes your boss irrational and prone to changing the rules and expectations at a moment's notice. Bosses who have a deep seated resentment to anyone that they have to pay and doesn't agree to work for free, are also classic indicators of this gene being present.
I'll pause here for a moment so you can consider your current working situation, does your boss exhibit any of these signs? It's also important to remember that these are just a few of the common symptoms. Other symptoms that have been reported are shortened lunch breaks, and mandatory overtime. Scientists feel that the "mandatory overtime" strand is seen as a key indicator on the presence of a dominant version of the "Bad Boss Gene"
Knowing that your boss has the "Bad Boss Gene" and will be unable to change his/her behavior, may motivate you to update your resume.
A small start up company who pays homage to "Dilbert" with it's company name, "Pointy Headed Boss Detector" have seen the need for just this service. Their advertisements state that all they need to test for the Bad Boss Gene is a strand of hair, some saliva etc. Their kit comes complete with cotton swabs, an airtight container that you can ship the sample back to them in (they even pay the postage) and a series of tips and tricks for getting a sample from your boss without him or her knowing.
Some of the suggestions for getting a sample are definitely easier to do than others:
Offer to take his suit in for dry cleaning - prior to dropping the suit off at dry cleaners, pluck few loose hairs off the collar for testing.
Offer to refill his coffee cup - before you refill it, brush the rim of the cup with the aforementioned cotton swab and send in for testing.
After hours shake your bosses computer keyboard upside down. - Any particles of left over lunch or skin cells will fall out, all of which can be used to see whether or not your boss has the "Bad Boss Gene"
There is another example that seems a bit extreme for my liking, it involves a candlelight dinner, copious amounts of wine and some Rohypnol.
Have you seen other symptoms exhibited? How have you been successful in getting a sample of your bosses DNA without them knowing?
4 comments:
Other symptoms? Let's see.
The determination and ability to ignore good, sound advice concerning policies that are obviously not working.
Being highly proficient at rewarding those whose sole talent is kissing the Head Honcho's ass instead of rewarding those who actually work.
Continuing, with great ease, the indifference to all employee's lives in regards to forced working holidays and forced working weekends.
I could go on but I have to stop to take a pain pill. My head hurts just thinking about the lousy bastards.
Kelly,
I think that bad bosses can spot one of their own - that is why they reward those who survive by kissing the head honcho's ass - think of it as a bad boss mentoring program.
When you are a bad boss one day this is how you will act.....
I find the easiest way to get a DNA sample from your boss is to simply drug him by putting rohypnol in his coffee.
After he has fallen asleep, have your way with family and then take a DNA sample when you return from his families house.
Perfect way to test and the best part of it is, he'll be asleep the whole time.
Dwayne.
http://probablysucks.com
The key thing to remember is: Keep cracking lame jokes and imagining fanciful, dream scenarios. Because the minute you take real, positive action in your workplace, your presence will become intolerable. Not only for the boss, but for everyone else who didn't have the guts to step up.
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