Justin Bieber fights the Forces of Evil

The PC Nazis have been the forces behind successful campaigns like putting Parental Advisory stickers on music CD's. Our world now is a much safer place as a result of those advisory stickers, well that and George Bush finding Saddam's Weapons of Mass Destruction - cough - cough

Hang on a minute. Advisory Stickers on CD's - that is what the PC Nazis have given us? CD's pshaw! Who still buys those old things? Everyone knows that gangstas with any street cred at all do not buy their CD's at yo' momma's Walmart. They will happily violate copyright laws as much as possible through the downloading of music via the Internet.

If you listen to the PC Nazis, they will tell you that the new soundtrack for street gangs is wholesome musical acts such as Justin Bieber and The Jonas Brothers as opposed to N.W.A. or Fiddy( 50)Cent. Yes those bland cookie cutter pop stars with their upbeat music and polished images, will help the dysfunctional and disinterested youth of today find purpose and repress their feelings of rage and inadequacy.

Incidentally my friends on the Police Force have not noticed any improvements in the relationship between the Police and the "gangbangers" since parental advisory stickers started appearing on CD's.

Police working in the Street Crime division for large cities like LA or NYC have started a pilot project where they play the music (?) of Justin Bieber through megaphones while they patrol the dangerous streets at night.

The results have been surprising to say the least as LAPD Officer Paul Chapman states "The other night my partner and I where patrolling the lower east side, a notoriously dangerous section of town, we had Bieber playing through a megaphone and I actually saw a group of street thugs stop stabbing a homeless person as we drove up. The hoodlums put down their knives and where gripped with "Bieber Fever". They sang and danced until our patrol car drove past them and the music faded away. I took a look in the rearview mirror and I could see the gangbangers stabbing the homeless person again. For one short glorious moment the music of Justin Bieber was able to vanquish the forces of evil and stop another senseless act of violence"

It would seem based on these results that Bieber Fever could be a powerful tool in the fight against evil. A tool that I am confident to say will soon be used by both law enforcement agencies, and several branches of the Military.

Never mind more Bunker Busters - we need Uncle Sam to pump some Justin Bieber into the caves of Afghanistan - Hey Osama - are you strong enough to resist Bieber Fever?

George & Osama - an off broadway play

The anniversary of 9-11 was marked by memorials services, speeches and one very happy former President of the USA - George W Bush. Allow me to explain;



A key component of George Dubya's Presidency was him ranting and raving about finding the nefarious Osama Bin Laden. The man responsible for the attack on America on Sept 11. "Wanted Dead or Alive" was the mantra at the White House. And for years the White House used bunker busting bomb, after bunker busting bomb hoping to cook themselves up one reclusive Jihadist. But alas George Dubya completed his Presidency without being able to announce to CNN the capture of the infamous Osama Bin Laden.

It seems that former President George Bush has taken to fantasizing about the capturing of Osama Bin Laden in a new play he wrote, directed and stars in called "Mission Accomplished - A hero in the White House"

The play starts with our intrepid hero deep in Tora Bora armed only with a Bowie Knife and some bad intentions, fighting his way ever closer to his target - Osama Bin Laden.(The part of OBL is played by Mohammed Ibrahim Festivus Jones a 3rd year theater student)



Of course this being a play put on by a former President, it is safe to say that he gets the bad guy in the end and peace blossoms throughout the lands.

If you listen to former first lady Barbara Bush the play has been a great success.

"This play dealing with the capture, trial and subsequent execution of Osama Bin Laden has improved George's mood considerably. Prior to the play he would mope around the house. He was miserable and very irritable. Even Dick (Cheney) stopped coming round. Writing "A hero in the White House" has given George the chance to fulfill his dreams."

For the privileged few who have seen the play the reviews have been positive.

"Mission Accomplished George bravo!" - Dick Cheney

"I laughed, I cried, I peed a little - great stuff!" - Condoleezza Rice


There are no plans to take the play to Broadway yet, but rumors are circulating that it could be opening at Gitmo very soon. Perhaps as part of the Guantanamo Christmas Assembly. More details to follow.

--No theater students where harmed in the play, though a few migrant workers where shot by on overzealous Dick Cheney. Osama Bin Laden is still roaming free and is yet to fall into the arms of US forces.