My name is Dave and I am addicted to the Internet

Phew am I glad to be back here…..It has been a longer than planned absence from the “interweb”. I have not done anything noble or noteworthy since I was last here. I have not eradicated smallpox, or solved the Middle East debacle. My lengthy absence from the seedy world of humor blogging can be explained with the simple fact that I have moved.

Moving -the act of packing all your worldly possessions into boxes and asking yourself - “how the hell did I get so much junk?”

Of course part of moving that we all know and love is getting “reconnected” by the hydro, phone, TV and Internet companies. Getting reconnected by these companies does not entail a long drawn out process involving a team of interns and a tub of industrial strength lubricant, nope it simply takes the press of a button to transform you back into a paying customer.

It seems that my Internet provider was unclear on which button was needed to make the transformation and to get me online. I moved the middle of February and yet it is the first week of March before I even received the modem that I needed to get me back online with.

During my time away from the Internet I had a monkey on my back the likes of which was seen only by hard core heroin junkies - I needed a fix of the Internet. I could say that I needed to check my investments online, and how my financial future was dependant on a reliable Internet connection – but that would be a lie.

I needed my daily dose of nonsense that only the Internet and quality sites like Facebook and You Tube where able to provide. Not being online meant I had to rely on reading newspapers – gasp and seedy tabloids to get my fix of nonsense.

Now I can finally put down the newspapers and seedy tabloids, open up my browser and start getting that damn monkey off my back. Now if you’ll excuse me I have some surfing to do…..