December 30, 2008

Solutions for New Year's Resolutions


Well it is only a few short hours until millions of people put additional pressure on themselves. I speak of course about the practice of setting New Years Resolutions. We will all suddenly decide Dec 31 at 11:59PM, that we will stop smoking,exercise more and eat less fast food. Our good intentions last about a week or two at the most, then we lapse back into our fast food eating, couch potato, second hand smoke generating behavior.

Why should we set such high goals only to see them fail a few weeks later? In this time of New Years Resolutions I suggest that we lower the bar. Make goals for ourselves that we can achieve. It is when we achieve these goals that we feel a sense of satisfaction.

I'll provide examples of realistic goals that you can set for yourself for your New Years Resolution along with a game plan on how to achieve that goal. Feel free to modify these examples to suit your specific needs.

1. Eat more cheese - Pretty simple to accomplish really. One extra cheese slice a day and you can have this goal achieved If you don't like cheese, substitute in something else that you enjoy eating like apple pie or bagels for example.

2.Eat more vegetables - this can be achieved with a slice of lettuce or tomato on your Big Mac. You still get all the saturated fats that you love,but you will feel better about yourself because you are achieving a goal.

3. If your a smoker - make a resolution to only smoke filtered cigarettes. Fight the urge to start chewing a wad of "tabbaca", or roll your own cigarettes.

4. Get more sleep - setting your alarm 2 - 3 minutes later will accomplish this goal and your body won't have to adjust to any change in your sleep pattern.

See New Years Resolutions are easy and fun when you use this system. In a few weeks you can stand up at your place of work all smug and brimming with self satisfaction knowing that while others have failed, you have achieved your not so lofty goals.

HUZZAH!

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9 comments:

Donnie said...

I don't make resolutions. Never liked being encumbered by bullshit.

Anonymous said...

LMAO Dude, you've totally made me an over-achiever for the first time in my life. I can do ALL of those resolutions at the same time! Thank you so much. I won't have to be my regular slacker-self this year. Woot!

Unknown said...

Don - so you don't like being encumbered with bullshit - may I suggest that you steer clear from a career in politics at any level

Angie - make you let your friends know that you have stuck to your resolutions long after theirs have failed - You will be the one that people look to for guidance and strength - perhaps you can even swing a stretch as a guest on Dr Phil out of it.

Thinkinfyou said...

Great minds think alike,Dave. I just posted about creating a dissolution of New Year's resolutions,myself. I'm stumbling ya!

Blicky Kitty said...

How about "don't engage in any more illicit arms deals with the North Koreans."

Yeah right I'd probably only last a week. *lol*

Unknown said...

Thinkinfyou - thanks for the Stumble and I'll be sure to check out your dissolution of New Years Resolutions

Blicky - those North Koreans are so joyful and fun loving how could you not want to sell them illicit arms???

Unknown said...

OH I like the more sleep part.. I can handle THAT one

Kevenj said...

Well Dave, my humble NYR is to not go into forclosure and live under the bridge near you and use your lawn as my bathroom.

Happy New Year!

Unknown said...

Dizz- sleep soundly in the knowledge that you have achieved a goal where so many others fail

Kevin - With some new curtains and a coat of paint you can make a bridge feel quite "homey"