RIP- Money For Nothing 1985 -2011

I cannot believe that this is happening in 2011 but the "geniuses" at The Canadian Broadcast Standards Council have banned all Canadian Radio stations from playing the Dire Straits mega hit - Money For Nothing. They claim a listener was offended by the use of the term "faggot" in the song.

Money for Nothing for those who may not be aware was released in 1985 and was an international hit for Dire Straits.

I guess if one international mega hit can be banned from the airwaves by the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council there are sure to be others to follow.

I have included a list of major rock hits that I have deemed offensive to certain segments of the population. I propose that everyone write into the CBSC with their own suggestion of a mega hit that needs to be banished from the airwaves.

If we write thousands of letters the CBSC will be forced to pull thousands of songs off the radio due to listener complaints. Once they purge the airwaves of any offensive mega hits, listening to the radio will mean listening to large blocks of silence followed by a 30 second spot for "Bob's Used Cars".

For those of you who want to contact the ivory tower residing troglodytes you can do so here:

Address: Canadian Broadcast Standards Council
P.O. Box 3265, Station D
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
K1P 6H8
Telephone: 613-233-4607 or toll free at 866-696-4718

Email Address: Email CBSC

Without Further Ado I present:

Dave's list of Offensive Mega Hits

Stairway to Heaven -(Led Zeppelin) offensive to Atheists and Satanists alike.

Lolo - (The Kinks) - offends anyone not comfortable with the idea of picking up a "Tranny" in a bar - come on people live a little....

Hotel California - (The Eagles) - offensive to stock holders in major hotel chains such as The Hilton and Motel 6

Sympathy for the Devil - ( The Rolling Stones) - Offends most organized religions with the exception of your local Satanist Chapter.

Jump - (Van Halen)- considered offensive by both paraplegics and quadriplegics.

Brittney Spears - offends everyone.

Did I miss any?

From the Christmas Vault

With the appearance of both Jesus and Santa Claus likely to occur in a matter of days. I wanted to dredge out a few Christmas themed posts from the archives for you to enjoy.

The first link is to the story behind the "Nativity Story"

The Real Nativity Story

And the other link is to an old standby here at Out of the Mouth of Dave it's a cherry little cartoon I drew a few years ago in an attempt to capture the holiday season.

King of the Elves

Enjoy all the holiday has to offer and be sure to wish those Politically Correct bastards out there a Merry Christmas!

-Dave

Sir Bob Geldof and the Haitian Refugees

2010 has been a tough year for most people but none more that the poor downtrodden Hollywood Celebrity.

A few of the more notable "celebrities" to move into the proverbial poorhouse are as follows:

Nicolas Cage - $6 Million in unpaid taxes, recently filed for bankruptcy

Pamela Anderson - her and her breasts have over $500,000 in unpaid taxes

MC Hammer - over $13 Million in debts and filed for bankruptcy

Mike Tyson - $13.4 Million in unpaid taxes

Willie Nelson - $16.7 Million in unpaid taxes

The list goes on and on....

So what can we do about the food stamp reliant celebrity?

Sir Bob Geldof, the man behind Band Aid, Live Aid and Live 8 is back with yet another money raising show. This one is called Oscar Aid



I think this time Sir Bob has pulled off a masterful public relations stunt.

The show will happen Jan 1 - the pinnacle of the holiday/ festive season. A time when people are still pretending to care about their fellow man and are apt to dig deep for the chance to help some of Hollywood's most famous people.

The true piece of Sir Bob's genius is the fact that the featured choir at the festival will be made up solely of Cholera infected Haitian refugees.



That's right the children whose parents where mashed and mangled in the 2010 Haiti Earthquake are back to sing for celebrities and deep pocketed donors.

I've had a chance to see a promotional video that Sir Bob sent out and I can tell you that when you see the Haitian refugee children standing under the lights, their distended bellies moving and swaying to the beat, you too will feel compelled to grab your VISA card and call the operators who are standing by.

It would seem that the recent cholera outbreak in Haiti had more side effects than just watery diarrhea and vomiting. That group of cholera ridden refugees standing on the stage sing like angels.

Sir Bob is even talking about taking the refugees on the road. Crossing the country to raise money for celebrities who are forced to wear "off the rack" clothes. The concert will surely leave a trail of happy concert goers and fresh cholera infestations in it's wake.

TSA "Fantasy" patdowns coming soon.

I'm sure by now everyone is aware of the whole TSA screening debacle. Let me summarize for those who are not- Minimum wage TSA employees have been accused of groping travelers. Running their hands over women's breasts and touching male travelers "junk". All this press has had a negative impact on the TSA and put a bad taste in the air travelers mouth.

Late night talk show hosts now joke about going to the airport for a "quickie". The TSA should take the bull by the proverbial horns and mine this publicity goldmine for all it's worth.

I propose that the TSA hire celebrity look a likes to pat down air travelers. What woman would refuse to have Johnny Depp run his hands over her breasts? and what man is going to refuse having Pamela Anderson touch his junk? Exactly, none!

The setup would be similar to what you see in brothels. Upon entering the security area there would be a line up of candidates to pat you down. A smorgasbord or buffet if you please.

The women, and even some of the men I suppose, could choose to be patted down/ groped by Brad Pitt, or George Clooney and there would always be a seething , teeming mass of teenage girls for the Justin Bieber look a like.



For the men, the line up for the large breasted, mini skirt wearing schoolgirl, would always be a long one regardless of when you fly. But if you plan your itinerary correctly, it could be possible to get your junk groped by a Kim Kardashian or Scarlet Johnannsen look a like prior to departing for that important sales meeting or family reunion.

There of course would be no additional fee for this service as it is already included in your exorbitant ticket price.

I guess it's possible that more people may start flying, and the line ups would get even longer at the airport. And I suppose you may also have those people who deliberately have contraband taped to their body in the hopes that they will be pulled over for a more "intimate session" with their fantasy TSA agent.

Oh and for all our Muslim friends, the TSA has applied a liberal dose of irony. If you are a member of the Muslim faith the TSA has deemed it appropriate that you are groped by Salman Rushdie.

This certainly looks like it will be a very interesting holiday travel season.