Things that make me go hmmm....
So you've had a hang nail now for a few weeks and the pain has gotten unbearable. You find yourself late at night thumbing through your local phone directory looking for a solution. Exotic Dancers, Explosives,Extermination and Fumigation - close but not exactly what you where thinking ah ha here it is Euthanasia - Mercy Killing. Interesting there are several places to choose from. Where do I get consumer reviews for the businesses listed here? I mean who do I choose?
There is a lot of responsibility for any company offering mercy killing - would you want to go to an establishment that accepted competitors coupons? Not likely. What about one that offered you the choice to super size it? Not sure what a "supersize" deal is at a mercy killing store. Apparently the store will include either a family pet, or one family member free of charge, to be included in the package. There is likely a large segment of the married market for whom that offer does not appeal - "I'm dying to get away from him/her " is a phrase heard quite often I am sure by the salespeople at that store.
There are options for the budget conscience consumer as well - a do it yourself kit. Hmm looks like a plastic bag - "Instructions - Place over head - secure tightly" Oh look at this - in red letters at the bottom - "This bag is not a toy" 
Here is an interesting option for the DIY crowd- William Hung sings the classics - extended version. Comes with one CD - (Extended version) and an Al-Quaida approved box cutter. It does not come with instructions, but anyone can see you put the CD on track one, and press "repeat all". In no time at all, the manufacturer guarantees that you will happily slice your wrists open - or you get your money back. Now that is an offer that any company would be happy to stand behind.
Our product will kill you, or you get your money back- finally some truth in advertising....
9 comments:
If you're feeling really like taking a risk, then try chasing a Mento with a shot of tequila. Guaranteed to make you wish you were dead anyway.
Mentos and tequila - now that will be the new craze for Spring Break parties - oh the carnage - oh the carnage.....
Very helpful information. I for one always tell everyone I know "Save the planet and kill yourself"..I mean if you really want ot get serious about going green!
Great suggestion Jamie - for the hard environmentalist - they can simply compost Grandpa - good for the soil and is quite a savings as well. In these tough times we all have to make changes
It's hard to get many testimonials from those successful with that CD though...
Then there are people like me who not only enjoy pain but like to pour salt in the wounds to exacerbate it....
TMI?! :P
VE - it is when we see the William Hung Extended CD topping the sales charts that we can likely deem the CD and the boxcutters are a resounding success.
Offended - for those of "you" who like pain - may I suggest the William Hung extended DVD?
I hear that one favorite amongst sohpisticated out-of-work Americans these days is to go stump for McCain/Palin in the inner cities of New York, L.A. or (if you feel frisky), Chicago.
Bringing along pictures of Bush & Chenney draped in an American Flag (or a cross) really helps too.
Your insurance should pay double indemnity to your wife and kids that might or might not save the house from that pesky forclosure.
Just a thought, Dave. Hope you guys are getting excited as we are about the coming Bears game next week!
Hi,
Every time i come here i see something very new and special, thanks for sharing with us!
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