Germs, Viruses and Bacterium oh my...

If you pay attention to the advertising out there, our world is simply awash with all manner of germs and viruses. At any moment we are mere seconds away from certain death,from a virus that affixed itself to us when we opened the washroom door. The microscopic vermin are everywhere - door knobs, pens, loose change,your children - it's make the brain over heat, when you start to think about how many of the vermin are out there plotting our demise.

But wait - there is now an answer to our collective germ phobia - hand sanitizers. I'm sure the person who invented these devices - Hans Sanitizer - I believe he was Dutch - won the Noble Prize for his invention and for doing his part for saving humanity.

How do they work? Glad you asked. These small bottles are filled with an alcohol based solution that when applied to your hands kills all germs on contact. In theory it sounds like a great idea - what on earth could go wrong?

Well, consider for a moment where people store these handy life saving devices? Take a poll at your work , or cell block, and I'm sure you'll hear answers like, purses, glove compartments, on my desk etc. Places where the product is easily accessible. But here is the potential flaw in the system - all these places are themselves, a potential ebola virus breeding ground. We need to come up with a product to sanitize the sanitizer.

If your hand sanitizer is sitting on your desk amidst the viruses and bacterium - as soon as you pick it up, you have placed your life, and the life of others at risk. Prior to picking up the sanitizer you need to apply Mr. Hans Sanitizer's newest product "Han's Sanitizer Sanitizer". This product comes with latex gloves - packaged in a sterile air tight package - and a bucket with applicator.

Put on the gloves , use the "Han's Sanitizer Sanitizer" applicator on the hand sanitizer on your desk, or in your purse. Remove the latex gloves, and dispense the aforementioned hand sanitizer. Rub hands together - ensuring that the nasty germ killing product has effectively covered you.

Phew - that was a lot of work - but saving lives is a task that I will willing undertake. I will let this post serve as my public service announcement.

Remember these easy steps

1. Put on Latex Gloves

2. Use "Han's Sanitizer Sanitizer" Applicator on the surface of any sanitizing product.

3. Then, and only then, can you dispense the life saving sanitizing lotion.

Failure to follow these steps could mean that you, or your family could be stricken with a rare tropical disease. You could then find yourself as the subject of a Discovery Channel documentary - "The family who developed blowholes - check your local listings." Don't let it happen to those you love.