Well the other day my wife and I were at a local steakhouse for dinner. Before our food arrived our waitress had dropped off a container of condiments. Well boredom drove me to reading the labels on the mustard , ketchup, etc and in doing so I discover a very important piece of demographical information.
To summarize - those who use French's products are dolts. Don't worry I'll explain. There is a section on the label - I think it was entitled something silly like "How to enjoy your French's mustard" and it contained a series of steps you needed to do to allow the mustardy goodness to come forth. Step 1: - remove lid Step 2: remove freshness seal Step 3: replace lid Step 4: squeeze bottle.
You can't make these things up people.
My first thought was, if you need instructions on how to operate mustard you likely have larger issues. Do not pass go - do not collect 200 dollars - go directly to the sterilization clinic and do us all a favor.
Another odd thing was that these inane instructions where not repeated on all the condiments - just French's products. Seems consumers of French's may not be all that smart. An example of the instructions on the other condiments - "open the f*#@&^% bottle and squeeze jackass" - ok maybe I paraphrased a bit but the intention is the same.
It's scary to think that there are people out there right now - you probably work with some - that need help in order to properly "operate"(?) a condiment bottle. These same people in all likelihood drive cars, probably have firearms in their homes and God help us all may have successfully reproduced. We're doomed - a nation of dolts - they walk among us
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4 comments:
Logic just tells me that any buffoon having problems figuring the mustard container out is: one, not interested in reading directions, and two, couldn't read them if he wanted! Seems like the people that make up this crap could do better. Like keep the directions and add more stuff in the bottle!
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Usage instructions on the little foil package of a moist towelette:
Tear open package, remove towelette and use.
I'm glad they explained it for me.
Next time you wash your hair, yes, you will find instructions on how to use shampoo. So sorry for the dolts of the world that forget mid wash, open their eyes and attempt to read them again...
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