The Real "Nativity Story"

At the risk of putting myself on a Vatican City blacklist, I wanted to focus this post on "The Nativity Story". I'm sure you've heard about it, it's the one about a down on your luck carpenter who's wife gave birth to the son of God in a barn. I know eh? What kind of story line is that? Well new information has come to light and I'm happy to say that Out of the Mouth of Dave is the first website to publish it.

The latest information deals with the whole idea of the "virgin birth". To put it simply - Mary was pregnant but she claims she had never had sex.

I'm not sure how many men are okay with their wives "popping" out another man's baby. If you watch The Jerry Springer Show this type of thing happens all the time and the men involved are none to happy it seems.

Well new documents reveal that Joseph was no different. When he found out that Mary had another man's baby he hit the roof, and when he heard her explanation about it being God's baby - witnesses who where there say "Joseph's eyes bulged dangerously and spittle flew from his lips"

Joseph was adamant that the public would find out the truth about how God was impregnating other men's wives.

God being all knowing, found out about Joseph's plan and set up a meeting with the irate carpenter.

There where no witnesses to the actual meeting between God and the lowly carpenter, so we are forced to rely on the assumptions from learned scholars about what happened on that December 25th many years ago.

Several of the leading religious scholars agree that God offered Joseph "hush" money if he kept the story quiet. The payment was to be made in Gold, Frankincense and Myhre. Of course if Joseph took the money there would be a few conditions. There was the standard non disclosure agreement, and God could now reveal the birth of his son in any fashion he saw fit. That is how the story of Jesus being born in a manger and receiving gifts from adoring followers came to be.

Joseph dropped off the collective radar after the birth of Jesus - there are those who say he lived a lavish lifestyle complete with his own herd of camels, while other scholars state he spent the rest of his life drunk and resentful at his wife.

Jesus went on to achieve great success in the theater. From appearing as himself in his school's Christmas pageant, to the pinnacle of his career - being cast as the lead in the Mel Gibson blockbuster - " The Passion of the Christ"

Now you know the rest of the story....