Well it seems that the Cash for Clunkers initiative that the Obama administration put in place has been a huge success. The program was designed to give consumers a cash incentive to turn in their old gas guzzling cars, for newer more efficient models. The idea is that buying these new cars will provide jobs for their neighbors, and pollute the environment less. A win win for all involved if you believe the Government press releases.
On the subject of Government press releases - I have found one from the Department for the Advancement of Feeble Thinking (DAFT) that looks like we will be seeing more of the cash for clunkers initiative. The Press release is included below:
There has been such a positive response about the "Cash for Clunkers" program that DAFT has decided to implement a Cash for Clunkers 2 program with the sole purpose of stimulating the economy.
Couples who have been legally married for a period greater than 10 years are invited to take part in this exciting Government program. Eligible couples can "trade in" their old spouse and receive up to $10,000 in tax free funds.
There are very specific requirements on how the tax free dollars can be spent. Please see subsection 2A for more details.
Subsection 2A
Government funds received through the Cash for Clunkers 2 program can only be spent to "woo" a new spouse. The money can be spent on items such as dinners out with your new love interest, theater tickets,jewelery, hotel rooms etc.
Government studies have shown that people in a new relationship report that they feel better, sleep better and most importantly they spend more money. The Cash for Clunkers 2 program is designed to take advantage of that "butterflies in your stomach" feeling that new lovers get.
There are a lot of unhappily married couples out there. Do not let that stop you from living the life you deserve. Trade in your old clunker of a spouse and get some Uncle Sam greenbacks to help you in your quest for Mr or Mrs Right.
We are expecting that the money spent on items such as jewelry, dinners and theater tickets will have a positive impact on the "luxury" industry during these tough times.
Fields such as Family Counseling, and Therapists can also expect to see an increase in their business.
Interested parties who want to take advantage of the Cash for Clunkers 2 program - please note that breast implants , and stomach stapling must be accompanied with the proper forms signed by your physician to be eligible.
3 comments:
Can we keep their old clothes, stained underwear and denture adhesives or do have to trade them in "as is?"
Almost makes me want to get married again. Almost! Even money won't buy the courage to do that.
I hope the gummumint is quicker about reimbursement than they have been. There's a lot of car dealers sweating bullets hoping that Obama and his minions will come through with the bucks they promised. Morons.
Hey a new Boob job for my wife's clunkers...Great Program..
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