Home Invasion Etiquette

Seems the good folks in California want to pass a law to outlaw spanking your child. Now I'm not here to get into an in depth debate on the subject, but I want to use this as a way to illustrate some points.

I'll start with a question ...Does anyone have any common sense anymore? All these new laws and regulations seem to try to define the situations where in previous generations we relied on COMMON SENSE. Now sorry to say - Common Sense is so sorely lacking and people are ill equipped to apply it, that they look for big brother to legislate their troubles away.

Soon we wont have to think - it will all be laid out in front of us with a series of scenarios and actions deemed acceptable by big brother.

Scenario 1: Gun wielding man breaks into your house to rape your wife and steal the silverware.

Option 1:
In the past it would have been perfectly acceptable to hit the intruder in the head with a Louisville Slugger and watch him run from your house leaving a trail of blood and broken teeth behind him - I mean he was breaking into your house with ill intent what did he expect?

Option 2:

Glad you asked what he expected...Let me explain the proper etiquette in this situation as laid out by subsection 2 ,paragraph 3 , of article 46b

If the masked man wants to rape your wife - all attempts should be made to put him at ease - we don't want to injure his delicate psyche at this vulnerable moment for him . Lower the lights , some mood music, and please no comments or giggles about his diminutive penis - he has feelings too you know. Please ensure that your HIV testing is accurate and updated so he can ensure that he wont be infected.

Your silverware should be packed in a container that he can carry without causing undue stress to any muscles or joints . Tell him to lift with his legs to avoid getting a work related injury or better yet carry the container to the getaway car for him. Please ensure that all children's toys such as bicycles, roller blades etc are removed from his exit path. Spraining or twisting an ankle could put undue financial stress on his ability to "earn" a living

Which is the correct response?

If you picked the Louisville Slugger option - all I can say is Thank God there are still some people with Common Sense out there - those lemmings out there who choose option 2 should remember to give the house invader all your relevant contact information so his lawyer can sue the right people if the need arises.

Bla.....

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