America's Hot New Reality Show

You just have to read the tabloids to see all the stars(?) crying about how they where abused as a child by their father/mother nanny etc. How they where forced into a destructive cycle of alcohol and drug abuse, because they where not allowed to have their own cell phone growing up in da hood. If all the magazines documenting the hardships of celebrities where laid out end to end, it would circle the world several times over.

If you want examples I have provided a few links for you:

Christina Aguilera talking about her father beating her for disturbing his afternoon nap.

Daughter of The Mamas and The Papas star talks about having sex with dear old dad.

Umm The Mamas and The Papas? I'm not sure the twittering youth of today have any idea about the group nor do they care. That select demographic tends to ignore anything that a) does not shower them with attention or b) happened longer then 48 hour ago. But I digress...

I'm thinking that the rash of celebrity abuse stories could open up the possibility for an exciting new TV show this fall.

Unless you have been living in Tora Bora for the past few years, everyone should be familiar with the plethora of Reality - talent shows that are on TV now. "So you think you can Dance?" "American Idol", "America has Talent" and on and on it goes.



Well it would seem that the majority of celebrities out there have been abused in one shape or form during their youth. What better way to tap into some exciting new talent, and exploit someone's pain at the same time,then to stage a talent show at your local Children's Aid Society?

Some of the names being tossed around by the studio executives for the upcoming show are as follows:

"Dance Orphan Dance!"

"Little Orphan Idol"

"Sing for your supper."

"Upcoming celebrities exploited by fat cat studio executives for ratings"

Winners of the new Children's Aid Idol show will get their own line of clothing, and a show on the Disney channel.

Everyone loves a good Rags to Riches story so executives are expecting big things from the show when it hits the air. Call your local Children's Aid to schedule an audition or see a live taping of the show.

George & Osama - an off broadway play

The anniversary of 9-11 was marked by memorials services, speeches and one very happy former President of the USA - George W Bush. Allow me to explain;



A key component of George Dubya's Presidency was him ranting and raving about finding the nefarious Osama Bin Laden. The man responsible for the attack on America on Sept 11. "Wanted Dead or Alive" was the mantra at the White House. And for years the White House used bunker busting bomb, after bunker busting bomb hoping to cook themselves up one reclusive Jihadist. But alas George Dubya completed his Presidency without being able to announce to CNN the capture of the infamous Osama Bin Laden.

It seems that former President George Bush has taken to fantasizing about the capturing of Osama Bin Laden in a new play he wrote, directed and stars in called "Mission Accomplished - A hero in the White House"

The play starts with our intrepid hero deep in Tora Bora armed only with a Bowie Knife and some bad intentions, fighting his way ever closer to his target - Osama Bin Laden.(The part of OBL is played by Mohammed Ibrahim Festivus Jones a 3rd year theater student)



Of course this being a play put on by a former President, it is safe to say that he gets the bad guy in the end and peace blossoms throughout the lands.

If you listen to former first lady Barbara Bush the play has been a great success.

"This play dealing with the capture, trial and subsequent execution of Osama Bin Laden has improved George's mood considerably. Prior to the play he would mope around the house. He was miserable and very irritable. Even Dick (Cheney) stopped coming round. Writing "A hero in the White House" has given George the chance to fulfill his dreams."

For the privileged few who have seen the play the reviews have been positive.

"Mission Accomplished George bravo!" - Dick Cheney

"I laughed, I cried, I peed a little - great stuff!" - Condoleezza Rice


There are no plans to take the play to Broadway yet, but rumors are circulating that it could be opening at Gitmo very soon. Perhaps as part of the Guantanamo Christmas Assembly. More details to follow.

--No theater students where harmed in the play, though a few migrant workers where shot by on overzealous Dick Cheney. Osama Bin Laden is still roaming free and is yet to fall into the arms of US forces.